what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
