apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
