I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
BRING THE BAGELS
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
