i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
my liver is dry heaving
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
