okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
