i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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