How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
