I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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