Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have surprise drugs for everyone
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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