I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
