He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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