if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
