Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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