And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
