4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
