that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
