Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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