I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize