for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
