well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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