She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
