Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This is the high leading the old right now
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
