I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
