I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
