why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Drunk is not a location!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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