She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
