i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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