drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
