if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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