She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
