If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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