is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
