Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
