White coat. Heels.
I am spending my child support on dildos
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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