I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This house was built for laser tag.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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