would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize