She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My breasts were aching with rage.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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