When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
