just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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