I just cut my nipple shaving
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
A+ Viking dick
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
