i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
