Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
