Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
love makes seman taste better
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
