I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
