just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
