guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
