If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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