Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
