i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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