Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
