I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize