i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
