i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
