I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
