you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
