After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
