Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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