U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
