Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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