Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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